The Dustbin Lid Man - When golf goes too far

30 Jul 2010 - 14:12:50

Have you ever felt the white heat of a two ball coming up behind you and imagined the shouts to get a move on?

Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but if there is a swift group coming up my rear (snort) then I feel guilty immediately. Like I should be playing speed golf all of a sudden.

Even if I'm playing at a perfectly respectable pace, my face goes a little bit ruddy and I start rushing around doing things far too quickly and probably get right on my playing partner's tits.

Basically the long and short of it is I become a tad stressful and a bit of a git to play with if someone is lingering around in the group behind.

Of course most of the time it's not a problem, you can just let them play through and get on with things. Occasionally though, on a really busy day when there are no gaps ahead of you, there is just no point in letting anyone play through so you are lumbered with a pair of irate golfers turning your ears blue.

I was brought to mind of this state of affairs by a story I read with macabre interest this week. In America police were called to a golf course after a 'golf-related' fight broke out between a group on the 18th green and a couple coming up behind them.

A man was treated for facial injuries after being head-butted (yes that is HEADBUTTED) and the wife had a golf ball hurled at her, narrowly missing her head.

Now I know that tensions can run high on occasion but this is taking things a little too far. When a debate on the varying pros and cons of hybrid irons turns to violence, you've just got to walk away and have a stern word with yourself.

Remember this next time you curse the impatient players behind, no-one wants to end up with a Glasgow kiss.

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